I judge people, I do. I mean, I try not to and when I catch myself I whisper "Father forgive me," but I definitely judge. The woman who had her walking, talking child in the store with no shoes on... The lady who was riding my bumper yesterday morning, swerving in and out of lanes, just to be met with a red light.. The dude with a mouth full of gold who swerved his car and parked it in front of me so that I couldn't walk across the parking lot because he wanted to "talk." I try to remember the words from that ever-so popular meme that tells us that we're … [Read more...]
Rise
Friday ended like any other day before a major break for a teacher- gleefully. Spring break was upon us and I was going to have a fabulous week enjoying my husband, my family, and friends. On the way home I picked up dinner, then decided that I should stop by Chick Fil A to treat myself to a milkshake cause dammit teaching is hard and I deserve that! At the red light around the corner from my house I picked up my drink from the cup holder and shortly thereafter milkshake was everywhere in my car. On the roof. On the steering wheel. On my legs. My car seat. … [Read more...]
House, Home
There has been something unsettling in my heart and soul the past month or so and while I have some theories, there hasn't been anything that I can name out loud and say "yes, this is it." Depression and anxiety are like that sometimes. Low-grade sadness, low-grade heart palpitations with an inability to really pinpoint the what or the why. We've lived in this home since the summer of 2014 and we haven't really done anything with it. No decorating, nothing. We've just lived in it. I think my anxious meltdown in May (also called the Great Mother's Day Clean Out of … [Read more...]
Change The Narrative
Change is hard. Although, truthfully, I usually deal with change very well. (I mean, we've moved 8 times in the 11 years we've been together- I've GOT this). Sometimes, though, we're hit with change and we can't fully comprehend the who/what/where/when/why of it. There's a mourning that happens, if the change isn't one that you've wanted, as you try to accept what your new normal will be. I have to be honest and tell you that when I was told that I would have a new job title this year, I didn't handle it well. I know, I should have stepped up to the … [Read more...]
Moving Forward
"So, what brings you here today?" Psychiatrists ask a lot of questions. And check a lot of boxes on paper. I told The Husband I felt like with every scale she was checking the score on the bottom to see if she needed to pick up the phone and call to have someone committed. That's probably not the case, but... I promised myself that I wouldn't cry. I mean, what was I crying for? There's no shame in going to see a psychiatrist. I've been in therapy since 2005 and I feel like if talk therapy was enough to "fix" me, it would've happened already. (I cried … [Read more...]