I consider myself to be up on the majority of the internet acronyms, but when it comes to mommynyms I am not very well-versed.
mommynms: n: Short for mommy acronyms. Words used online on pregnancy websites, message boards, etc. by moms to describe elements of their mommy lives).
I think BFP means big fat pregnancy or big fat positive (as in plus sign on a pregnancy pee stick) and that’s what I had father’s day weekend.
Please don’t get excited, I’m not pregnant, but if you wanna be uber excited for someone that is please go shower my friend Katie with congrats.
I haven’t been feeling very bloggy what with massive headaches and life threatening cramps… oh, and summer school.
So I haven’t really been checking my emails, deleting most of them. Or reading them and not responding.
I’m tired y’all. Like super exhausted.
Wait, where was this post going? Oh yeah…
So I’ve been asked twice already if I’m expecting. And seriously? When did that little “you never ask a woman if she’s pregnant if you’re not sure” rule go out of the window? Sheesh people.
I’ve always had a little pooch, which became even more defined after Pea’s birth, but I didn’t think it was enough to warrant pregnancy talk.
Anyway, back to that B-F-P on father’s day.
Last year, we had a miscarriage and that was rough. We heard the heartbeat, saw the fetus and then… nothing.
This time, same outcome, though not the same route to get there.
I went in and they showed me an empty sac. Then? Week after week of blood draws and hcg levels. The levels went up, then “plateaued” and so they told me to “call two weeks after your miscarriage for an appointment” and that’s it.
No baby, just a sac that’s empty. And it’s cool. I’m not all torn up about it. What I am annoyed with is the absolute insensitivity of the doctors office. So I’ve been waiting for about 3 weeks and nothing has happened yet.
I called back and asked how long I’m supposed to wait for this natural miscarriage and was told “you’d be surprised at how long some people’s bodies hold on.” What the fuck does that mean?
Yesterday and today I was having death cramps. Today? Light cramps, but still no blood.
I’m not sure how long I should wait around. They were really trying to talk me into getting those inserts that you put in your vagina to soften the cervix to induce a miscarriage, but I didn’t really wanna do that. BUT, full-time school starts in less than 2 weeks and I don’t wanna be waiting around to start bleeding like a dead carcass in my classroom with 6 year olds.
Then they wanna run tests on me. I had a friend who just finished OB/GYN rounds tell me she believes there’s no need for fertility tests yet because I haven’t been actively trying for 1 year.
I don’t know what I think. I’m feeling too shitty to even think clearly. I’m irritable and it’s just not a good look for me right now.
What should I do?
Should I take the inserts?
Wait it out?
Should I let them run tests or jump back in the saddle (no pun intended)?