I am having a “whoa is me” moment.
I should be psyched. I have the week off from work, but really, I’m thinking about all of the stuff I need to do.
These things include:
Make lesson plans for math for the next 3 units for my team members.
Go into work to clean my messy a** classroom.
Oh, do report cards since I don’t now the exact date they are due.
Get ready to do DRA’s when I get back.
Pay insurance. Pay credit card. Pay daycare. Pay rent.
Get hair re-done.
Call and make sure the girl who does my hair can actually do it this week.
Go to Walmart to put food in the house since we’ve been gone for a week.
Post reviews for site. Try to get more reviews so my site doesn’t drown and die.
So I know they say you should be grateful for what you have cause someone always has it worse. I know that. I’ve been to Africa and India- I’ve seen the hungry and homeless men, women and children.
But should I live my life thinking about them and acting happy all day everyday? I do think about them often, when I am counting my blessings. But today, I wanna complain.
Being a grown-up sucks donkey balls.
Yeah, I said it.
For one, I’m sick of friggin owing people money. I mean damn it. Light, Gas, rent, car note, insurance, daycare, credit cards- what the HECK?!
I asked my husband if he could do it all again would he do our wedding differently and he said no.
Pshhh. Silly man. I would.
I would elope.
Hell yea. And when Pea gets older, if she wants to elope, I’d let her. Send me effin pictures and Mommy will put a fat check in your bank account.
We spent Ten FRIGGING thousand dollars on a wedding that didn’t even turn out how we planned. Shoulda been a garden wedding, we got married in a hallway. Why? Cause mother-effin-nature hit and a tropical storm flooded the damn streets of the Tampa Bay Area. The reception was awesome and went off without a glitch. So I’d keep the reception even and scratch the ceremony- we coulda did that at the damn courthouse. Here we are three years later still paying for a day that’s only in photo books now. Dust-covered photo books, mind you.
So that’s where our credit card bills come from.
And I wanted to get a job so bad to contribute to the household. Now it’s like- where the heck does my paycheck go?I had to buy a car to get to my new job, so there’s a second car note and a second car insurance to pay. Argh.
Pea had to go to daycare since I’m at work. So there’s $520 a month. And she gets no vacation or sick days at this daycare, but because it’s SO well priced (other daycares are $180+ up to $200+ a week), I can’t even complain or try to find another daycare for her. And she’s learning a lot, we see the change in her at home, so really- can I complain? No.
And? Remember that miscarriage I had? Just got a damn bill from the less-than-great Antelope Valley Hospital in California for $250 f*ck you very much. One more bill I have to pay. But, I have to prioritize, so they’ll have to wait for that $250.
I love working. I love teaching. I love my job. And I’m proud of what I did at home with Pea those 18 months. She’s not even two years old and she knows all of her letters and what sounds they make. She knows what sounds a cow, cat, dog, bear, lion, duck and pig make and can identify them in photos. I mean, my kid’s pretty smart. (If I may say so myself)
I know I am blessed. Life is good. Could things be better? Yes. But I know, things could be way worse.
I’m not a complete miserable mess.
But misery loves friggin company- ya know? And I know I’m not the only person who steps back and says “what the hell is happening here?” Isn’t that a part of being reflective? Taking in the good (I have a home, a husband an awesome daughter, a car, food in my fridge, clothes on my back and a job in these hard economic times) and the bad (I’m kinda broke despite having a job and at the end of last paycheck had -$4 in my account)?
You can whine too. Lay it on me. What’s your gripe today?